REVIEW: Doctor Who The Companion Chronicles 6.05 - The First Wave

Original Post - Wandering In The Fourth Dimension

What does a Vardan need with a spaceship?

Steven and Oliver

 
Cast:

Steven Taylor - Peter Purves
Oliver Harper - Tom Allen
The Vardans - Lisa Bowerman

Synopsis:

"Caught in the inevitable path of its own history, the TARDIS arrives on the planetoid Grace Alone, where the Doctor, Steven and Oliver expect to face their fate. What they don’t expect to find is a massacred crew – and a race of alien invaders known as the Vardans."

Review:

This episode plays off the fact that the radio signals we've been creating for years are getting sent out into space and still travelling. An alien species picks up the signals and comes to our solar system. We pick up the story with Steven and (new companion created for the audio series) Oliver trying to survive this alien attack, stranded on an mining colony, and with The Doctor dead.

The first part is good and concentrates most on Steven reflecting on the past whilst trying to survive the alien attack with Oliver with occsional flashbacks that set up the story to the point we're at now. The story itself is pretty simple, but also an interesting one and slightly unexpected in places, and leaves enough of the plot to focus on Steven's reflections which is really well done.

A bit more happens in the second part with some nice twists and a good conclusion to the story and triology. In all, it's a really good sentimental story with a great musical arrangement to compliment it.

Score:

0/7 - Non-existant
1/7 - As bad as you can get
2/7 - Poor
3/7 - Quite poor / too many poor points / didn't like it
3.5/7 - Neither good nor bad / undecided
4/7 - Quite good / plenty of good points / liked it
5/7 - Good
6/7 - As good as you can get
7/7 - Impossible perfection


Written by: Simon Guerrier
Directed by: Lisa Bowerman
Produced by: Big Finish
Released: 8th November 2011

National Novel Writing Month

Before NaNoWrMo finishes, I'll take the opportunity to finish all my outstanding scripts. So here we go:-

Bubbles Great Adventure: Bubbles Gets Lost In Space 2.8

BUBBLES:...

Obi Wan and Yoda are not paying attention to Bubbles and continue what they were doing.

OBI WAN: I’m thinking Lima.

YODA: Incorrect you are.

OBI WAN: What about….. Leg?

YODA: Wrong that is. More focus you must have.

Obi Wan puts his hands on his head and concentrates.

OBI WAN: I…. I see…. I see a Locust.

YODA: Negative my friend. Almost here it is. Of time you are running out.

Just then lightning strikes in the distance.

OBI WAN: Damn, Lightning. Okay my turn. I spy with my future eye, something beginning with….. ooohh, this is a good one…. something begging with N.

Yoda closes his eyes for a moment and it starts getting a little windy.

YODA: Newspaper.

OBI WAN: Damn it. You’re just too good at this.

BUBBLES: What? What is this you’re doing?

YODA: Game of future eye spy we are playing.

OBI WAN: You have to name something that you can’t see now but will in the very near future, and the other has to try and guess what it is before they see it.

BUBBLES: But how do you know what you’ll see in the future….

YODA: Your laces untied they are, Bubbles.

Bubbles bends down to tie up his laces just as a newspaper in the wind flies over Bubbles and smacks Obi Wan in the face. Bubbles arises again and sees Obi Wan with a newspaper wrapped around his head.

BUBBLES: …. if it hasn’t…. happened yet?.... okaaayyyy.

Obi Wan removes the newspaper from his face and throws it on the ground while Yoda laughs.

OBI WAN: Yes, very funny. Now Bubbles, have we learnt anything more from your journey yet?

BUBBLES: Nothing that I didn’t already know, that Nikelface is annoying. Why won’t you just tell me what it is?

YODA: Learn the lessons yourself you must, lest with meaning they be without.

OBI WAN: Let us show you another event from your past. Hopefully things will start to become more clear to you.

Then Bubbles wakes up.
Then he dies.






_________________________________________

Previously in Journeyman

Dan can travel into the past. He can't control when he does or where and when he travels to. All he knows he travels to key moments in peoples lives in order to lead them in a different direction and right wrongs. The reason behind this is unknown. Only his wife Katie and his brother Jack know about this. During his trips to the past, he occasionally bumps into his ex who also travels through time.

Previously In Dead Like Me

George was killed by a falling toilet and now finds herself living in another body as a reaper for Rube procuring souls from people before they die so they can pass on to the afterlife. Rube has a few reapers which he by directs to the souls with little yellow post it notes that have the time, location, and surname of the soon to be deceased.

JOURNEY LIKE ME - EPISODE 6

PREVIOUSLY: Back in the past, Dan has twice encountered the Thompsons - a very anti social couple - and their child but only seemed to make them withdraw further. Livia was too late to help Dan. Back in the present, his friend is socially raped - a term Dan isn't familiar with.

Dan is at work at his computer. His boss approaches and looks at his screen.

BOSS: History of social raping huh? Another up to the minute piece you're working on there Dan?

DAN: ...huh, oh yeah. A friend was, what they say, Nicked? Yesterday.

BOSS: I can't believe this still happens. People like that should be locked up. Thinking they can impose themselves on other people having a good time just because they don't have any friends. There's a reason they don't have friends. No one wants you around, you socially inept idiot.

Then Dan wakes up.

Then he dies.



_____________________________________________________________________________

Social Defiance And Its Implications

SCENE: Dave is in the toilet having a piss in a cubicle. There is the feint buzz of chatter coming from the bar. Two blokes eventually walk in and go to the urinals. Dave evesdrops.

BLOKE 1: Man, I'm so going to buy you the drinks for the rest of the night for that speech.

BLOKE 2: Thanks John, It was a good one wasn't it?

JOHN: Truly inspired. Completey deserved the best toast of the night prize. "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" You crack me up sometimes Reilly.

REILLY: I'l have to come up with something good when I get back to the wife though. I'm going to be hammered tonight.

JOHN: Yeagh, whether it's celebrating the feetball win or drowning sorrows eh?

REILLY: Aye, it's a do or die game this 'un.

JOHN: Hope those Chelsea c-unts get hammered for six.

Dave hears them both zip up but doesn't notice the buzz from the bar has gone. The two gents head out.

REILLY: Not likely but that would be ace.

JOHN: Aye.

The doors open and close as they leave. Dave finishes up and heads out. He opens the door and steps out, bumping into John and Reilly who are stood in the doorway.

DAVE: Whoa, 'scuse me. What're......

Dave then looks out to the rest of the pub. There is nobody in the bar and a few headless bodies on the floor with blood all over the place.

Then Dave dies.




__________________________________________________________________________

THE SOBER CHRONICLES - CHAPTER 22 - EMPYREAN SOLAR FLARE SUMMER ALE

(NOTE: This chapter takes place concurrently with the events in

The Jesus Chronicles - Chapter 22

Five minutes ago in a country on the other side of the planet.

"What's that in the sky?" Asked Robert.

"I think I read something about this in the paper this morning. It's a supersun." Replied Steve.

"What's a supersun?" Enquired Albert.

"Well, like the normal sun, it's glowing. But because it's getting bigger, they're calling it super." Answered Steve.

Robert holds his hands to his eyes and looks up to the supersun.

"Apparently, astronomers are predicting the arrival of this supersun will cause tsunamis or something. Load of superstitious nonsense if you ask me." Continued Steve.

Looking slightly panicked, Robert says "you know what? I don't think it is getting bigger."

"Of course it is, look." Laughs Albert.

"I see it appears that way, but that's because whatever it is, it's getting closer, and it looks big, and if.... when that hits the earth, well...." says Steve.

"...well what?" Asks Albert.

"...well, when I say run. Run." Replies Steve.

"RUN!" adds Steve.

And they all run.

But they all die.

Uncharted 3

Finished Uncharted 3, loved it. I've seen a few people complain about the aiming and behaviour of guns - I didn't find it any different to the previous games. I had one friend who complained about the changes to combat mechanics meant he constantly died random deaths as he got shot from behind and want quick enough to retaliate. Having played it, yes the combat had changed and enemies now sneak up behind you if they can, but three problem here was more his inability to adapt his playing style. Once I saw early on the changes in behaviour, my tactics were alerted accordingly and I didn't have any problems for the rest of the game. Nate was fully capable of coping other than occasionally bring overwhelmed by volume of enemies. There were some great action sequences as usual, the only downside over 2 in my opinion was that the environments of some scenes weren't as fun to play in due to the layout and it seemed like there were less puzzles to me, or less involved puzzles, not as memorable. The story in this one and support characters were superb though.

Human Centipede 2 - The Full Sequence

Watched Human Centipede 2. The first one had some merit, it was actually a pretty decent suspense horror to stay with until the end where it turned into lame torture porn, terrible dialogue and performances aside. The second one had nothing redeeming about it. Any and all character development or exploration was out of the window and it is simply a bloke gone mad and tries to emulate the first film with more victims. There is nothing more to it. The first one maybe worth watching, this one not at all.

AUDIOBOOK REVIEW: The Magic Of Reality: How We Know What's Really True

This science book is a little different to most, in that it's aimed at children primarily and each chapter is set out by starting with a collection of myths from around the world to explain things from the movement of the sun, the creation of the world, and why bad things happen. It then explains the beauty of the scientific explanations of the myths, all accompanied by helpful drawings. Unlike Dawkins' previous books, this is purely a scientific book and not an attack at religion at any point.

Before I start, the version of the book I listened to (there's a clue) was the audiobook as opposed to the illustrated book. Now, for the most part this wasn't a hinderance in any way. The scientific processes were described with enough clarity that the illustrations weren't necessary. However, there were a couple of times where I thought that a child would benefit from the visual representations if not familiar with many scientific principles.

This is billed as a science book for children, and he does a good job of making the science pretty accessible, but it's not too simplified and there's plenty for all ages who are interested in science. People who are particularly adept may not actually learn anything new about science, but there's still other information of interest here besides science, including many myths and superstitions from the past, and the most important bit, common misconceptions about statistics which pervade to most adults even today. Ultimately, this is a great introductory book to science for anyone interested in the subject and a good read if you already are conversant.

Where this book does fall down is on it's main aim - highlighting the beauty of reality as told scientifically, opposed to the vague explantions of myths and religion. There is only one section - about light and rainbows - where he really does seem to get across just how beautiful it is in the eyes of science. The other chapters just read like an explanation of the science and you're to infer how beautiful it is. It doesn't seem to be told with the same enthusiasm which is a shame.

The best thing about this though, is being taught science by the President of Gallifrey.

Score:

0/7 - Non-existant
1/7 - As bad as you can get
2/7 - Poor
3/7 - Quite poor / too many poor points / didn't like it
3.5/7 - Neither good nor bad / undecided
4/7 - Quite good / plenty of good points / liked it
5/7 - Good
6/7 - As good as you can get
7/7 - Impossible perfection

Author: Richard Dawkins
Narration: Richard Dawkins and Lalla Ward

Publisher: Bantam Press (UK) / Free Press (US)
Released: 15 September 2011 (UK) / 4 October 2011 (US)
Formats: Book, Audio, iPad

This Time I'm Right - Star Trek Edition

This movie makes me sentimental for a period of Star Trek I couldn't give a shit about - not that I don't care for the franchise or anything, DS9 is one of the best serials around - just I never really liked the original crew's adventures. Maybe sentimental's the wrong word - more respect. Not just for the characters and how good the new actors are, but also how well written they are. Each character had an interesting inroduction or part in the story.

Beyond that, the whole thing is just so well written and it's not just a reboot or retelling, it actually continues the universe from where other movies left off. Not story-wise, but chronologically. That's what I love most, everything that we know has happeneding in the movies and series, has still happened, it is not wiped out of continuity. And we now also get to build a new continuity. Brilliant scripting.

I also like how a lot of it is explained with made up science and is consistent within its own universe, but they also explain it with, and use science, as we understand it and not just settle for technobabble and leave it.

But wait, towards the end, could this be a low point? Oh look, a giant drill fallling to Earth, heading towards a famous landmark to destroy, how typically boring... wait, it missed? No damage? Another reason why this movie is great.

Honestly, there is nothing in this movie I can have a go at. It's full of great action scenes and characters all the way through.

Read About Me Being Wrong About Things On The Internet - The Terra Nova Edition

 ...beacuse Earth 2 wasn't enough damnit!, and other stories.

Earth has become inhospitable and depleted of resources, and the only way to save the human population is to start a new settlement somewhere. Unfortunately in the new settlement, there is a faction that infiltrated them with an alternate agenda. I enjoyed this show, but unfortunately Earth 2 was cancelled after a season. Now it's back with another name - Terra Nova. Anyway, on their way to the new settlement, a news report in the background explaining time travel mentions quantum mechanics before getting talked over so we can't hear the explanation. I thought we were going to get a detailed scientific explanation for a second. Are we not going to get an explanation? We do find out later though that a 'rift' in spacetime was discovered, a probe was sent in but was lost so they don't know where the other end ends up, but they assume it's another universe. Being a one-way trip and no way of knowing what's on the other side, they guess it's worth the risk and send people after people through for years. Just hoping everything is okay I guess. On the other side, thankfully everyone is okay and a colony has been set up on that Universe's Earth, 85 million years in the past. So, instead of the new settlement being on another Earth-like planet - it's on another Earth. Couldn't they have also got Rebecca Gayheart to come back too? Anyway, with the Second Law Of Thermodynamics still intact, I can now sit back and enjoy a story of how a wooden fence is enough to keep people away from Dinosaurs*.

Besides the attacks from Dinosaurs and kids sneaking off outside camp grounds to drink moonshine, there's also the infiltrators who know the real reason Terra Nova was formed - whoever controls the past (of an alternate universe Earth i presume), controls the future (of an alternate universe Earth i presume), and they draw cymbols and calculations in the earth just so we've something pretty to look at.

Not entirely too terrible, so I'll watch a few more epiosdes of Earth 2 Terra Nova (seriously, is there a fucking difference?) and see if they actually do something that wasn't already done in 1994.

* I don't need The Second Law Of Thermodynamics to be intact to enjoy things.


Other things

Read About Me Being Wrong About Things On The Internet - Star Trek Edition Part 1

Like my previous Star Wars entry, I decided to watch the Star Trek movies again. The main reasons for this are that the Post Atomic Horror podcast are currently reviewing the movies so I'll know what they're talking about when I listen, and also it's been a good long while since I last watched them. My friends seem to like them and I thought it interesting to see how they hold up.

Firstly, I'm/they're only doing the first six movies - the Kirk ones. Also, because of my PCRA, I got the movies mixed up in my memory. Many scenes from [V] and [VI] I remembered as being from [I], [III] I thought was actually [II]. Anyway, onto the films themselves.

The Motion Picture, at least on BluRay, was very pretty. Whilst not downright terrible, it was rather slow.
The Wrath Of Khan, or the one everyone seems to rave about, seemed okay, but I thought the third one was slightly better. Although both struggled to hold my interest.
The Voyage Home is the one I remember most clearly, but then again, how am I even going to confuse that storyline with any other? Also, the best movie so far.
Why The Final Frontier even exists, I don't know.
The Undiscovered Country is more like it. This one felt like it was deserving of being a movie to me. Had more of what I expect from a movie than the others and was all round more entertaining.

I think I'd be more inclined to watch these again than I would Star Wars again.

DW 152 - House Of Blue Fire Review

Just reviewed the following over at Wandering In The Fourth Dimension

Seventh Doctor

Cast:

The Doctor - Sylvester McCoy
Dr Magnus Soames - Timothy West
No 18 - Amy Pemberton
No 5 - Miranda Keeling
No 16 - Ray Emmet Brown
No 12 - Howard Gossington
Eve Pritchard/Mi'en Kalarash - Lizzy Watts

Synopsis:

"aquaphobia n. An abnormal fear of water, or drowning.

blattodephobia n. The morbid fear of cockroaches.

catoptrophobia n. Fear of mirrors, or seeing one’s own reflection.

There’s a whole ABC of horrors at Bluefire House – as four young people, drawn together to this tumbledown hotel at the edge of nowhere, are about to discover. But whatever the ancient and foul thing that has emerged from the wilderness to drag them here, speaking of it will only strengthen it.

The Doctor alone knows what lurks at the heart of Bluefire House. But the monster of his childhood dreams is coming. The Mi’en Kalarash is coming…

Just this once, the Doctor’s afraid."


Click here to read the review over at my new b--g - Wandering In The Fourth Dimension

Read About Me Being Wrong About Things On The Internet - Star Wars Edition

So yeagh, I've just recently watched the all new super improved Blu Ray version of the Star Wars films. The last time I watched 1, 2, and 3 were when they were released and 4, 5, and 6 just prior to that. I've never really been a fan of the films either. I remember thinking them being entertaining enough but nothing great. I also remember enjoying Phantom Menace too and wondering why everyone seemed to hate it. Anyway, the shiny new versions come out so I thought I'd revisit them and see what I think in comparison. This isn't an in depth review or anything either but in general, taking the Prequel Trilogy (Phantom to Revenge), they get better with each successive movie. Phantom was nowhere near as entertaining as I remember it to be and there's the occasional good moments in the films but I think I can say I'd be quite happy to not watch any of them again. I gather a lot of people aren't that impressed with these either... or maybe they are. I don't know, I don't really care.

As for the Original Trilogy, again, I remember enjoying them more when I was younger and while there were some good scenes, I was more bored than entertained. I'd say they're the better Trilogy though. As for which one is the better movie, I'm going to have to go with 4, just seemed to have more to it than the others for me. Then as for Empire and Jedi, well, that's a close call and I find it hard to seperate them. But if pushed, I think I'd fall on the side of Jedi, though that could just be spite, which is a perfectly valid selection method anyway.

So there you have it, another person on the internet being wrong.

Next time I'll be taking a look at the Star Trek movies

REVIEW: Doctor Who 151 - Doomsday Quatrain

New review posted over at Wandering In The Fourth Dimension for:-

CAST:

Seventh Doctor - Sylvester McCoy
Nostradamus/Conclave Leader - David Schofield
Brors/Captain of the Guard/Bernardo - John Banks
Garilund/Computer Voice - Caroline Keiff
Kren/Second Nuncio - Derek Carlyle
Larrett/Milo/First Nuncio - Nicholas Chambers

SYNOPSIS:

"When the river is gone, ships shall sail in the sky, monsters bring fire from the heavens. All will fall into a grey and endless sea, and Doomsday has come.
Florence, the sixteenth century. No one thought to pay much attention to the prophecies of the so-called seer Michel de Nostradame, otherwise known as Nostradamus. Until the canals of Venice dried. Until the soothsayer's sayings started coming true…
Because Master Nostradamus is right, in all respects. The end of the world is nigh. The ships are coming. The monsters are coming. The fire is coming. There's only one thing he didn’t see coming, in fact: the sudden apparition of a certain strange Doctor, in his even stranger TARDIS. Today, the Earth dies screaming. And all the Doctor can do is watch."

I've put up a review of the below over at my new, Doctor Who only b--g - Wandering In The Fourth Dimension if anyone's interested.

Fourth Doctor and Mrs Wibbsey

CAST:

The Doctor - Tom Baker
Mrs Wibbsey - Susan Jameson
Father Gregory - Tom Baker
Tsar - Michael Jayston
Tsarina - Suzy Aitchison
Boolin - Simon Shepherd
Lucius - Sam Hoare
Server Robot / Rebel - Paul Chequer
Server Robot / Rebel - Grant Gillespie
Server Robot / Rebel - Gabriel Vick

Writer: Paul Magrs
Director: Kate Thomas
Publisher: AudioGO
Release Date: 8th September, 2011

Streamlining...

I've decided to move all my Doctor Who related activity into a separate b--g. You can find the new b--g thusly:-

Travelling In The Fourth Dimension

REVIEW: Doctor Who 150 - Recorded Time And Other Stories

Sixth Doctor and Peri

A collection of four short stories featuring the Sixth Doctor and Peri.

REVIEW: Doctor Who Companion Chronicles 6.02 - The Rocket Men

Ian Chesterton (and Vicky, Barbara, and The First Doctor)

Cast:

Ian Chesterton - William Russell
Ashman - Gus Brown

Synopsis:

The TARDIS has landed on Platform Five, a floating city in the sky of the planet Jobis, and for a time the Doctor, Ian, Barbara and Vicki get the chance to enjoy this idyllic place.

And then the Rocket Men arrive, led by the sadistic Ashman.

When the only other option to certain death is suicide, Ian Chesterton takes the gamble of his life…

Review:

REVIEW: Doctor Who The Lost Stories 2.6 - Earth Aid

Seventh Doctor & Ace ; and Raine

Cast:

Seventh Doctor - Sylvester McCoy
Raine Creevy - Beth Chalmers
Ace - Sophie Aldred
Victor Espinosa - Paterson Joseph
Shepstay - Nadine Marshall
Yanikov - Basher Savage
Lt Baraki - Ingrid Oliver
Metatraxi - John Banks
Grub - Alex Mallinson

Synopsis:

Welcome aboard the space vessel Vancouver. Its mission: to guard a vast shipment of grain from Earth to the planet Safenesthome. Its medical officer is called simply ‘The Doctor’, and he’s perhaps not all he seems.

When mysterious ships target the Vancouver, the Doctor is pushed to the limit. Meanwhile, there’s something nasty in the grain containers. And it’s not very happy...

Review:

REVIEW: Doctor Who 149 - Robophobia

Seventh Doctor

Cast:

The Doctor - Sylvester McCoy
Liv Chenka/Elicien - Nicola Walker
Farel - Toby Hadoke
Bas Pellico - William Hazell
Selerat - Nicholas Pegg
Cravnet - Dan Starkey
Tal Karus/SV10 - Matt Addis
Leebar/Computer Voice - John Dorney
Robots - Matt Addis, Nicholas Briggs, John Dorney, Toby Hadoke, Dan Starkey




Synopsis:

Nothing has ever been officially confirmed, but there is a rumour that on a Sandminer, bound for Kaldor City, the robots somehow turned homicidal and nearly wiped out the entire crew. Can that really be true?

The robot transport ship Lorelei has a cargo of over 157,000 robots on board, all deactivated. So even if there were any truth in the rumour of that massacre, there'd still be no danger. Surely, there wouldn't...

But then, the Doctor witnesses a murder.

REVIEW: Doctor Who Companion Chronicles 6.01 - Tales From The Vault

Steven, Zoe, Jo Grant, and Romana I

Cast:

Captain Ruth Matheson - Daphne Ashbrook
Warrant Officer Charlie Sato - Yee Jee Tso
Steven Taylor - Peter Purves
Zoe Heriot - Wendy Padbury
Jo Grant - Katy Manning
Romana - Mary Tamm

Synopsis:

Welcome to The Vault - jokingly known as 'The Museum of Terrors' - a high security establishment where UNIT keeps all of its alien artifacts.

New recruit Warrant Officer Charlie Sato is given a guided tour by Captain Ruth Matheson, and the archive reveals some dark secrets. An army jacket, a painting, crystal and a wax cylinder all hold a grave significance, and their stories are told by the Doctor's companions: Steven Taylor, Zoe Heriot, Jo Grant and Romana...

REVIEW: Doctor Who Lost Stories 2.5: Animal

Seveth Doctor, Ace, & Raine

Cast

Seventh Doctor - Sylvester McCoy
Ace - Sophie Aldred
Raine Creevy - Beth Chalmers
Winifred Bambera - Angela Bruce
Scobie - Anthony Lewis
Henrick/Metatraxi - John Banks
Willa - Dannielle Brent
Percy - Alex Mallinson
Juno - Clare Fraenkel






Synopsis

Margrave University in 2001, and Raine Creevy is enjoying her first trip into the future.

For the Doctor, there are mysteries to solve: what are the alien creatures imprisoned in the science labs? And what are the true motives of the student Scobie and his followers?

With enemies on all sides, the Doctor teams up with his old friend Brigadier Bambera and the forces of UNIT in a battle for the future of the whole world.

REVIEW: Torchwood: The Lost Files 3 - The House Of The Dead

CAST:

Captain Jack Harkness - John Barrowman
Gwen Cooper - Eve Myles
Ianto Jones - Gareth David-Lloyd
Mrs Wintergreen - Rosalind Ayres
Barry - Bradley Freegard
Mr Jones/Tony - John Francis Harries
Helen - Lucy Davis
Ness - Moira Quirk
Late Arrival - Shelley Rees

SYNPOSIS:

The brewery have called 'time' and it's the last night at The House of the Dead - the most haunted pub in Wales. Barry the barman has invited renowned psychic, Mrs Wintergreen, to hold a special seance to mark the occasion, and there's a big crowd hoping for the chance of seeing their deceased loved ones for one last time. But when Jack arrives on the scene, he's determined to stop them. Ianto is puzzled by Jack's behaviour, and Gwen is suspicious. Why is Jack acting so strangely? Then the ghosts start arriving - and all hell breaks loose.

WARNING: Review contains spoilers.

Happy Birthday Jim

BODYGUARD: Hey Jim. Bubbles tell me it's your Birthday man. He asked if The Queen and I could pass on a royal congratulations to yourself. She normally doesn't do requests like this for anyone, but Bubbles is an old...


THE QUEEN: Sod him. That Jim is dreamy. He makes one's crotch wet.


BODYGUARD: ...yes. Well... anyway, He asked if we could also sort out something special for you.


THE QUEEN: One does remember  Bubbles remarking he once kept something special down in the dungeons.


BODYGUARD: That's brilliant ma'am. I was just going to offre him a knighthood or something, but lets see if Bubbles still has anything down there. Maybe some 40 year Oak aged Scotch Ale or something.


THE QUEEN: Excuse me Jim whilst we go take a look.


---shortly in the dungeon---

REVIEW: Torchwood: The Lost Files 2 - Submission

CAST:

Captain Jack Harkness - John Barrowman
Gwen Cooper - Eve Myles
Ianto Jones - Gareth David-Lloyd
Carlie Roberts - Erin Bennett
Sam Doyle - Angelo Tiffe
Captain Cudlow - John Francis Harries
Henry Goddard - John Lee


SYNPOSIS:

Torchwood are chasing aliens down the M4, when Jack accidentally blows a hole in the Severn Bridge, and the SUV hits the water. Whilst submerged John, Gwen and Ianto hear a strange noise, which, back at the Hub they realise is a cry for help. They track the cry to its source which turns out to be the deepest part of the Ocean - the Mariana Trench. Ianto rings old Torchwood flame, Carlie Roberts, who's an expert in marine geology, and Jack pulls strings with the US government to get them all on board the USS Calvin, an Arleigh Burke class destroyer, which is heading for the Trench. From there they board the Octopus Rock, the only submarine built to withstand the pressure at that depth, and follow the signal. But when the Submarine crashes, the team are left at the mercy of a hungry alien.

REVIEW: Torchwood: The Lost Files 1 - The Devil And Miss Carew

CAST

Captain Jack Harkness - John Barrowman
Gwen Cooper - Eve Myles
Ianto Jones - Gareth David-Lloyd
Rhys Williams - Kai Owen
Fitzroy - Martin Jarvis
Miss Carew - Juliet Mills
Sian - Hayley J Williams
Uncle Bryn - James Walsh
Old Lady - Shelley Rees

Set before Children Of Earth, this is a decent enough story but did however have its problems. There are moments where I can't decide whether it's really poor acting and you can tell they're just reading, or it's really poor character scripting and I can't imagine them saying it so it sounds fake. But in particular, I just don't think John Barrowman can act well for audio. Jack interacting with Ianto is particularly excruciating... couldn't Ianto have stayed dead? Or just not interact with Jack because at times Gareth David-Lloyd wasn't much better... and it wasn't like their characters actually contributed to the story. Thankfully, most of the story centered around Gwen.

Oh, the music and sound design was quite good, so there's that too.

Score: 4/7

Writer: Rupert Laight
Director: Kate McAll
Publisher: BBC
Released: 11th July 2011

RECIPE: Chicken Curry

INGREDIENTS

NOTE: This will result in a curry of similar strength to a vindaloo. Omit the Birds Eye Chillies and use less or weaker chilli powder to suit. Maybe fewer Jalepenos too.

Stage 1

4 tblsp Vegetable Oil
3 Cloves Of Garlic (finely chopped)
12 Small Dried Birds Eye Chillies (optional)

Chicken Breast (diced)
1 Large Onion (chopped)

3 tblsp Mustard Seed
3 tsp Piri Piri Spices
1 tsp Salt
1 tsp Pepper

REVIEW: Doctor Who 148: Rat Trap

 Fifth Doctor, Nyssa, Tegan, & Turlough

NOTE: This review contains spoilers for the first two parts.

A fairly eventful first chapter sets a nice pace that's full of good old Doctor Who tropes like The TARDIS not w--king correctly and the team getting split up immediately. Nyssa's character is further explored in this, appearing to be at the centre of the current Fifth Doctor's story arc. Some telepathic creatures also show up to provide running commentary as they monitor what's happening and the cliffhanger has Turlough seemingly get blown up by a grenade as he takes the time out to describe to the audience other characters that there's a grenade about to blow up. Despite the creatures seemingly wanting to talk over each other all the time in strange voices with weird alien sound effect music playing in the background making you miss the occasional word, it was an interesting start to the story.

REVIEW: Doctor Who Companion Chronicles 5.11 - Ferril's Folly

Fourth Doctor and Romana I

Cast
Mary Tamm
Madeline Potter


I found it a little disconcerting at times as most of it was told, not from Romanadvoratrelundar's point of view but, from someone else's. Not that it was a bad thing per se, I just kept subconsciously imposing her into the Companion role before realising it didn't make sense and had to remember she wasn't.

REVIEW: Doctor Who Lost Stories 2.4 - Crime Of The Century

7th Doctor, Ace, & Raine

The first part was just a pleasure to listen to from start to finish as they introduced Raine. Her interaction with The Doctor is enjoyable as he enjoys being so typically the Seventh Doctor. Meanwhile Ace is sent on a mission by The Doctor. It's just 25 minutes of listening to the Seventh Doctor, being the Seventh Doctor.

The story picks up after this, but seems to take a back seat to the building relationship between Raine and The Doctor - not that the main story wasn't interesting. The Doctor dragging Raine around as his grand plan slowly unfolds, as though he's also steadily introducing her to thrills of being a companion. They work well together here and Ace's side story was interesting enough too.

REVIEW: Doctor Who 147: Kiss Of Death

Fifth Doctor, Nyssa, Tegan, & Turlough

It may be a little unfair to review this one as I wasn't really in the mood when I was listening... or maybe I'm being too kind and it wasn't good enough to put me in the mood.

The first part seemed to go all over the place too quickly to follow but settles down by the second part where the more streamlined narrative held my attention more with more character interaction it seemed. The introduction of a character who was unintelligible however was quite annoying.


The only thing holding it together for me were the Turlough parts and what exactly his part in it all was. It was these smatterings of the story arc kept me listening as between the first part and the great mumbler, I couldn't keep track of what else was happening.

Score: 3/7

Publisher: Big Finish
Writer: Stephen Cole
Director: Ken Bentley
Release: May 2011

AUDIO REVIEW: Doctor Who Companion Chronicles 5.10 - The Sentinels Of The New Dawn

Liz Shaw & The Third Doctor

The first half of this passes somewhat uneventfully, which is something the writer realised towards the end when he decided to throw a monster in the middle of political intrigue. Maybe anticipating the audience would be asleep by then and needed waking up. There was almost a hint of the Third Doctor going all Seventh on us but he quickly chickened out of that and ruined what could have been an interesting (but predictable) twist to the story. This was just after the monster had been wrote out of the story just as quickly as it had appeared.

I think the writer may have been wrestling his integrity as a writer to write something interesting and possibly trying to win a bet he that couldn't write something boring. Maybe he just takes pleasure in getting people's hopes up before ripping them away. The story trundles on, never promising much and never delivering much.

On a good note however, they're mainly points about how it could be improved, because for all the 'it could have been so much better' - the story was pretty solidly told and never got complicated. I didn't really lose my attention to it and it entertained me for an hour. There were things wrong with it, and as mentioned, could have been better. Overall, it was okay.


Score: 4/7

Publisher: Big Finish
Writer: Paul Finch
Director: Lisa Bowerman
Release: April 2011

Drunken Time Travel Podcast

Irish Gav and myself have attempted to start a podcast reviewing Doctor Who from the beginning. Who knows how long we will keep it up. I can't have that much to say about Doctor Who. Anyway, here's the link.

Drunken Time Travel Podcast

REVIEW: E3

Last year E3 bored me. It was all about 3D and motion control which, while an interesting concept, just seemed to be a new interesting way to play games and nothing more than a gimmick. A year on and I see no evidence this has changed. Not that this is a bad thing or rubbish in any way, it's just not what I'm after from my gaming experience and left me with little to look forawrd to. Jump to this year, and while it hasn't gone away, it's not quite so prominent now so we can focus on the games a bit more. So here are some of my thought's on some of the show's highlights:-

REVIEW: Life Ascending: The Ten Great Inventions Of Evolution

"I think that the picture painted in this book is true. Life most surely evolved, along the lines described here. That is not dogma, but evidence tested in reality and corrected accordingly. Whether this grand picture is compatible with faith in God, I do not know. For some people, intimately acquainted with evolution, it is; for others, it is not. But whatever our beliefs, this richness of understanding should be a cause for marvel and celebration. It is a most wonderful thing to share so much with the life around us on this blue-green marble, floating through the bleak infinity of space. There is more than grandeur in this view of life. There is fallibility and majesty, and the best human eagerness to know."

If you are interested in evolution, this is a fantastic book, though because it is

REVIEW: Doctor Who Lost Stories - Thin Ice

The first of the Seventh Doctor stories that weren't made due to cancellation. The Doctor and Ace land in the middle of the Cold War amidst various powers trying to take advantage of or recover alien tech. Depsite Sylvester and Sophie having played their roles for the last few years in the main range, it feels a bit more like they're picking up their roles from the TV series rather than how they seem to have developed over the last few years.

Or maybe that's just a psycological trick I'm playing on myself because this was supposed to be an actual episode.


The characters are enjoyable enough and there's just enough mystery in the first half about the who what and why of everything to keep it mildly interesting because nothing much really happens, especially in the middle. It picked up again towards the end and there were some nice character moments between Ace and The Doctor.

Score: 4.5/7

Publisher: Big Finish
Writer: Marc Platt
Director: Ken Bentley
Release: 14th April 2011

REVIEW: Doctor Who 147: Heroes Of Sontar

REVIE

The Fifth Doctor and his annoying companions land on a planet (Samur) covered in moss that attacks Nyssa. As they investigate they come across a bunch of idiots. Like the TV story The Chase which featured Daleks in training, this story features Sontarans that are equally as useless at being what they are. Steve (as I shall call him) Sontaran is always being corrected on his protocol.

In fact, I think Steve Sontaran makes a better Dalek and Dalek Steve (off of The Chase) would make a better Sontaran. Not that any of the Sontarans in this possess anything resembling intelligence.

SCRIPTS: The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 22 - EMPYREAN SOLAR FLARE SUMMER ALE

CLICK HERE TO SEE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

(NOTE: This chAapter takes place concurrently with the events in

The Jesus Chronicles - Chapter 22 - Ottenere Piiu Grande)

(Translation version here)

PREVIOUSLY

"This is the man who is going to save us."

NOW

EPISODE TITLE: EMPYREAN SOLAR FLARE SUMMER ALE

 Five minutes ago in a country on the other side of the planet.
"¿Qué es eso en el cielo?" Asked Robert.
"Creo que leí algo sobre esto en el periódico esta mañana. Es un sol estupendo." Replied Steve.
"¿Qué es un sol estupendo?" Enquired Albert.
"Bueno, como el sol normales, es brillante. Pero debido a que es cada vez más grande, que está llamando es estupendo." Answered Steve.
Robert holds his hands to his eyes and looks up to the supersun.
"Al parecer, los astrónomos predicen la llegada de este sol estupendo hará que los tsunamis o algo así. Montón de tonterías supersticiosas si usted me pregunta."

Continued Steve.
Looking slightly panicked, Robert says "¿sabes qué? No creo que se está haciendo más grande."
"Por supuesto que es, mira." Laughs Albert.
"Veo que aparece así, pero eso es porque sea lo que sea, es cada vez más cerca, y se ve grande, y si .... al que golpea la tierra, así ...." says

Steve.
"...y qué?" Asks Albert.
"...así, cuando digo de ejecución. Ejecutar." Replies Steve.
"EJECTUAR!" adds Steve.
And they all run.TO BE CONTINUED

SCRIPTS: The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 22 - EMPYREAN SOLAR FLARE SUMMER ALE (translated)

(NOTE: This chapter takes place concurrently with the events in

The Jesus Chronicles - Chapter 22 - Getting Bigger (translated)

Five minutes ago in a country on the other side of the planet.
"What's that in the sky?" Asked Robert.
"I think I read something about this in the paper this morning. It's a supersun." Replied Steve.
"What's a supersun?" Enquired Albert.
"Well, like the normal sun, it's glowing. But because it's getting bigger, they're calling it super." Answered Steve.
Robert holds his hands to his eyes and looks up to the supersun.
"Apparently, astronomers are predicting the arrival of this supersun will cause tsunamis or something. Load of superstitious nonsense if you ask me." Continued Steve.
Looking slightly panicked, Robert says "you know what? I don't think it is getting bigger."
"Of course it is, look." Laughs Albert.
"I see it appears that way, but that's because whatever it is, it's getting

closer, and it looks big, and if.... when that hits the earth, well...." says Steve.
"...well what?" Asks Albert.
"...well, when I say run. Run." Replies Steve.
"RUN!" adds Steve.
And they all run.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

SCRIPTS: Bubbles The Ninja's Great Adventure 1.5

Bubbles Gets Lost Part 5 (google docs)

Bubbles Gets Lost Part 5 (.docx)

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Gavin Drury

PREVIOUSLY: After the wreckage explosion on the beach, everyone seems to be ok. In order to find out where they are they start organising a search party for the pilot and the cockpit when something suddenly emerges from the jungle.

SAYID: We'll have to send a search party out. Three or four of us to go look for him at least as we don't know what sort of whacky adventures we could get into searching for him.

 

JACK: Well I'll go. Fortunately I've had experience with exploring and if the pilot needs any medical treatment I'll be able to help.

Suddenly something emerges from the jungle....

.....20 years ago.....

SCENE: There's a group of kids hanging around in the playground at school.

ROBERT: Jack, I'm telling you, Steve said he found a stash of porn in the middle of the woods but he's not telling anyone where it is.

SCRIPTS: The Queen And The Bodyguard - After The Wedding

After The Wedding (online)

After The Wedding (.docx)

SCENE: Buckingham Palace. Saturday morning. The day after Kate and William’s marriage.

The Bodyguard is walking down a hallway with a concerned look on his face. He is apparently searching for something. As he approaches a corner, a little girl comes running round it and bumps into him.

HENRIETTA: Sorry mister, in a hurry. Looking for Gav.

Henrietta runs off and then another gentleman comes around the corner.