The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 18 - 'nuff Said
PREVIOUSLY
"Just then the rain stops to cheers from everyone."
AND NOW...
Gav, Downtown, AAlgar, and JABSEN are back on land where AAlgar is still disgusted with himself for his 'King Of The World' comment and Gav is steadily becoming sober much to his discomfort. AAlgar and JABSEN express interest in joining Gav and Downtown and are given the Gavified names of AAlgav and GAVSEN. It is at this moment that a 'Lemming' from the boat approaches the group. Greatly disturbed by his presence, Downtown rushes towards 'Lemming' and gives him a Gary Neviile* before returning to the group. Collectively, the Order Of Gavs decide to arrange an official emergency meeting to discuss the current beer situation. GAVSEN knows of a place where the meeting can be held and they set off towards a seemingly abandoned building. GAVSEN explains that the founder Dave uses this for gatherings of the Religion Of Indecisiveness but he can't decide how to decorate the place. As they sit discussing things, the door suddenly swings open and a dwarf appears and throws a bottle towards them before apologising about getting the wrong room and running off. Gav catches the empty bottle and immediately holds it upside down above his open mouth hoping to rescue any remaining drops. Upon seeing this, Downtown screams and charges at Gav...
TO BE CONTINUED
*Gary Neviile - the act of hitting someone whilst saying your own name.
Friday 9 April 2010
Friday 5 February 2010
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 17 - The Lion Game
PREVIOUSLY
"Let's go investigate"
AND NOW.....
The two Gavs are walking around the ship in the heavy rain taking in the various sights. Downtown turns to Gav and says "So... I am seeing this right?"
"People dressed up in lame animal costumes?"
"Just checking."
They walk past a group and overhear one of them dressed as a dog say "Tell you what, why don't you, Mark, and Luke join my little group..."
Gav whispers "Like that'll be anywhere near as good as ours" and they carry on to the front of the ship where they overhear a 'lion' with a ginger mane arguing with a 'bear'.
"... I'm telling you, Noah is not an alien."
"He's gotta be."
"Just look at The State of his beard"
"So?"
"Beards don't grow in space."
"But we're not in space."
"And he didn't come from space either...." the 'lion' interrupts himself mid sentence "...hello" he says towards the Gavs.
"Hi, I'm Gav, this is uhhh.. also Gav."
"You can call me Downtown."
"Nice to meet you, I'm AAlgar, and this is JABSEN" he says motioning towards the 'bear'.
"So, everyone's snuck on here in lame animal disguises then? What have you come as?"
"Me? I'm the Lion King Of The World" AAlgar shouts as he stands with arms outstretched over the front of the boat.
"NICK?" someone shouts from the back of the boat.
"The fuck you just do there? All the rain getting to your head?" JABSEN asks.
AAlgar sits back down "I... I don't know. That was just terrible. I'm sorry. Will this rain ever fucking stop?"
Just then the rain stops to cheers from everyone.
TO BE CONTINUED
"Let's go investigate"
AND NOW.....
The two Gavs are walking around the ship in the heavy rain taking in the various sights. Downtown turns to Gav and says "So... I am seeing this right?"
"People dressed up in lame animal costumes?"
"Just checking."
They walk past a group and overhear one of them dressed as a dog say "Tell you what, why don't you, Mark, and Luke join my little group..."
Gav whispers "Like that'll be anywhere near as good as ours" and they carry on to the front of the ship where they overhear a 'lion' with a ginger mane arguing with a 'bear'.
"... I'm telling you, Noah is not an alien."
"He's gotta be."
"Just look at The State of his beard"
"So?"
"Beards don't grow in space."
"But we're not in space."
"And he didn't come from space either...." the 'lion' interrupts himself mid sentence "...hello" he says towards the Gavs.
"Hi, I'm Gav, this is uhhh.. also Gav."
"You can call me Downtown."
"Nice to meet you, I'm AAlgar, and this is JABSEN" he says motioning towards the 'bear'.
"So, everyone's snuck on here in lame animal disguises then? What have you come as?"
"Me? I'm the Lion King Of The World" AAlgar shouts as he stands with arms outstretched over the front of the boat.
"NICK?" someone shouts from the back of the boat.
"The fuck you just do there? All the rain getting to your head?" JABSEN asks.
AAlgar sits back down "I... I don't know. That was just terrible. I'm sorry. Will this rain ever fucking stop?"
Just then the rain stops to cheers from everyone.
TO BE CONTINUED
Thursday 7 January 2010
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 16 - Best Friends
PREVIOUSLY
"..That's why I cringed, it always reminds me of her betrayal."
AND NOW.....
"I'm sorry man."
"The thing that really annoys me is how I went along with it for so long, pretending it was a miracle conception. People have even started calling him the Son of God, and for that I cannot forgive myself. I left Mary, left the carpentry business, left everything and went into failed business venture after failed business venture. My life's a mess now. That's it, I'm doing nothing now, it's too much ef---t."
"Too much to even say the whole word?" Gav questions.
"Yup, I'm done with it all"
"Tell you what, you sound like a great guy, fancy joining my Order?"
"Your Order?"
"Order Of Gavs... admittedly there's only me so far but I haven't come across anyone deserving enough to join.... till you.”
"But I'm not a Gav."
"Then we'll have to make you one. From now on you'll be 'Gav Brown'."
"Gav Brown? Hmmm, I like it. Downtown Gav Brown."
"Excelle..." Gav pauses "...hey, have you noticed something strange about this ship?"
"What? No, can't say I have"
"Have a look."
Downtown looks around.
"Oh god, you're right. How could we not have notice?"
"The lack of alcohol must have been distracting my attention."
"Let's go investigate"
TO BE CONTINUED
"..That's why I cringed, it always reminds me of her betrayal."
AND NOW.....
"I'm sorry man."
"The thing that really annoys me is how I went along with it for so long, pretending it was a miracle conception. People have even started calling him the Son of God, and for that I cannot forgive myself. I left Mary, left the carpentry business, left everything and went into failed business venture after failed business venture. My life's a mess now. That's it, I'm doing nothing now, it's too much ef---t."
"Too much to even say the whole word?" Gav questions.
"Yup, I'm done with it all"
"Tell you what, you sound like a great guy, fancy joining my Order?"
"Your Order?"
"Order Of Gavs... admittedly there's only me so far but I haven't come across anyone deserving enough to join.... till you.”
"But I'm not a Gav."
"Then we'll have to make you one. From now on you'll be 'Gav Brown'."
"Gav Brown? Hmmm, I like it. Downtown Gav Brown."
"Excelle..." Gav pauses "...hey, have you noticed something strange about this ship?"
"What? No, can't say I have"
"Have a look."
Downtown looks around.
"Oh god, you're right. How could we not have notice?"
"The lack of alcohol must have been distracting my attention."
"Let's go investigate"
TO BE CONTINUED
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