The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 18 - 'nuff Said
PREVIOUSLY
"Just then the rain stops to cheers from everyone."
AND NOW...
Gav, Downtown, AAlgar, and JABSEN are back on land where AAlgar is still disgusted with himself for his 'King Of The World' comment and Gav is steadily becoming sober much to his discomfort. AAlgar and JABSEN express interest in joining Gav and Downtown and are given the Gavified names of AAlgav and GAVSEN. It is at this moment that a 'Lemming' from the boat approaches the group. Greatly disturbed by his presence, Downtown rushes towards 'Lemming' and gives him a Gary Neviile* before returning to the group. Collectively, the Order Of Gavs decide to arrange an official emergency meeting to discuss the current beer situation. GAVSEN knows of a place where the meeting can be held and they set off towards a seemingly abandoned building. GAVSEN explains that the founder Dave uses this for gatherings of the Religion Of Indecisiveness but he can't decide how to decorate the place. As they sit discussing things, the door suddenly swings open and a dwarf appears and throws a bottle towards them before apologising about getting the wrong room and running off. Gav catches the empty bottle and immediately holds it upside down above his open mouth hoping to rescue any remaining drops. Upon seeing this, Downtown screams and charges at Gav...
TO BE CONTINUED
*Gary Neviile - the act of hitting someone whilst saying your own name.
Friday, 9 April 2010
Friday, 5 February 2010
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 17 - The Lion Game
PREVIOUSLY
"Let's go investigate"
AND NOW.....
The two Gavs are walking around the ship in the heavy rain taking in the various sights. Downtown turns to Gav and says "So... I am seeing this right?"
"People dressed up in lame animal costumes?"
"Just checking."
They walk past a group and overhear one of them dressed as a dog say "Tell you what, why don't you, Mark, and Luke join my little group..."
Gav whispers "Like that'll be anywhere near as good as ours" and they carry on to the front of the ship where they overhear a 'lion' with a ginger mane arguing with a 'bear'.
"... I'm telling you, Noah is not an alien."
"He's gotta be."
"Just look at The State of his beard"
"So?"
"Beards don't grow in space."
"But we're not in space."
"And he didn't come from space either...." the 'lion' interrupts himself mid sentence "...hello" he says towards the Gavs.
"Hi, I'm Gav, this is uhhh.. also Gav."
"You can call me Downtown."
"Nice to meet you, I'm AAlgar, and this is JABSEN" he says motioning towards the 'bear'.
"So, everyone's snuck on here in lame animal disguises then? What have you come as?"
"Me? I'm the Lion King Of The World" AAlgar shouts as he stands with arms outstretched over the front of the boat.
"NICK?" someone shouts from the back of the boat.
"The fuck you just do there? All the rain getting to your head?" JABSEN asks.
AAlgar sits back down "I... I don't know. That was just terrible. I'm sorry. Will this rain ever fucking stop?"
Just then the rain stops to cheers from everyone.
TO BE CONTINUED
"Let's go investigate"
AND NOW.....
The two Gavs are walking around the ship in the heavy rain taking in the various sights. Downtown turns to Gav and says "So... I am seeing this right?"
"People dressed up in lame animal costumes?"
"Just checking."
They walk past a group and overhear one of them dressed as a dog say "Tell you what, why don't you, Mark, and Luke join my little group..."
Gav whispers "Like that'll be anywhere near as good as ours" and they carry on to the front of the ship where they overhear a 'lion' with a ginger mane arguing with a 'bear'.
"... I'm telling you, Noah is not an alien."
"He's gotta be."
"Just look at The State of his beard"
"So?"
"Beards don't grow in space."
"But we're not in space."
"And he didn't come from space either...." the 'lion' interrupts himself mid sentence "...hello" he says towards the Gavs.
"Hi, I'm Gav, this is uhhh.. also Gav."
"You can call me Downtown."
"Nice to meet you, I'm AAlgar, and this is JABSEN" he says motioning towards the 'bear'.
"So, everyone's snuck on here in lame animal disguises then? What have you come as?"
"Me? I'm the Lion King Of The World" AAlgar shouts as he stands with arms outstretched over the front of the boat.
"NICK?" someone shouts from the back of the boat.
"The fuck you just do there? All the rain getting to your head?" JABSEN asks.
AAlgar sits back down "I... I don't know. That was just terrible. I'm sorry. Will this rain ever fucking stop?"
Just then the rain stops to cheers from everyone.
TO BE CONTINUED
Thursday, 7 January 2010
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 16 - Best Friends
PREVIOUSLY
"..That's why I cringed, it always reminds me of her betrayal."
AND NOW.....
"I'm sorry man."
"The thing that really annoys me is how I went along with it for so long, pretending it was a miracle conception. People have even started calling him the Son of God, and for that I cannot forgive myself. I left Mary, left the carpentry business, left everything and went into failed business venture after failed business venture. My life's a mess now. That's it, I'm doing nothing now, it's too much ef---t."
"Too much to even say the whole word?" Gav questions.
"Yup, I'm done with it all"
"Tell you what, you sound like a great guy, fancy joining my Order?"
"Your Order?"
"Order Of Gavs... admittedly there's only me so far but I haven't come across anyone deserving enough to join.... till you.”
"But I'm not a Gav."
"Then we'll have to make you one. From now on you'll be 'Gav Brown'."
"Gav Brown? Hmmm, I like it. Downtown Gav Brown."
"Excelle..." Gav pauses "...hey, have you noticed something strange about this ship?"
"What? No, can't say I have"
"Have a look."
Downtown looks around.
"Oh god, you're right. How could we not have notice?"
"The lack of alcohol must have been distracting my attention."
"Let's go investigate"
TO BE CONTINUED
"..That's why I cringed, it always reminds me of her betrayal."
AND NOW.....
"I'm sorry man."
"The thing that really annoys me is how I went along with it for so long, pretending it was a miracle conception. People have even started calling him the Son of God, and for that I cannot forgive myself. I left Mary, left the carpentry business, left everything and went into failed business venture after failed business venture. My life's a mess now. That's it, I'm doing nothing now, it's too much ef---t."
"Too much to even say the whole word?" Gav questions.
"Yup, I'm done with it all"
"Tell you what, you sound like a great guy, fancy joining my Order?"
"Your Order?"
"Order Of Gavs... admittedly there's only me so far but I haven't come across anyone deserving enough to join.... till you.”
"But I'm not a Gav."
"Then we'll have to make you one. From now on you'll be 'Gav Brown'."
"Gav Brown? Hmmm, I like it. Downtown Gav Brown."
"Excelle..." Gav pauses "...hey, have you noticed something strange about this ship?"
"What? No, can't say I have"
"Have a look."
Downtown looks around.
"Oh god, you're right. How could we not have notice?"
"The lack of alcohol must have been distracting my attention."
"Let's go investigate"
TO BE CONTINUED
Saturday, 2 January 2010
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
SCRIPTS: Bubbles Great Adventure 1.1
The first of my scripts where I started using the (borrowed from YPJ) methd of using pictures to accompany the story. Continuing with the Character of Bubbles The Ninja from Bubbles In Trubble I decided to do something based off the TV series LOST. I like this and there are some funny moments in it, or at least I like to think so.
Anyway, here it is:-
Bubbles Gets Lost 1.1 (online)
Bubbles Gets Lost 1.1 (.doc)
Anyway, here it is:-
Bubbles Gets Lost 1.1 (online)
Bubbles Gets Lost 1.1 (.doc)
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 15 - The Ark In Space
PREVIOUSLY
"Well..." says Noah as he steps aside "welcome aboard then."
AND NOW.....
"I can't believe the idiot didn't stock up on beer!" says Gav angrily as he banged his fist against the wall. "How much longer do I have to go without another beer?"
"Come Gav, there's nothing you can do now. Just accept the situation for what it is. Deal with it when you're in a position to do something about it and stop worrying what might be. Move on and forget about it till that time."
"You're right, thanks Joseph."
"No probs Gav, happy to help"
"Say, I noticed earlier you cringed when Noah said 'there was no room at the Inn', that have anything to do with your problems?"
"You could say that, in a way." Joseph replied. "You see, it all started when my wife got pregnant."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"Not when you haven't slept with her yet it isn't. Y'see, I had my suspicions she was having an affair with someone in town, but she flat out denied it claiming she was a virgin."
"Well that's one of the lamest excuses I've ever heard."
"I stuck by her, but as the months grew, the lies and betrayal grew too much to bear and I had to find out who was the father so I took Mary with me and searched Bethlehem all over.
"I'm impressed you managed to suppress your anger that long."
"It was hard. Anyway, the night grew long and we needed to find somewhere to stay but everywhere was booked up. Time after time we were told there was no room at the Inn, until one kind gentleman let us shelter in his barn. That's why I cringed; it always reminds me of her betrayal."
TO BE CONTINUED
"Well..." says Noah as he steps aside "welcome aboard then."
AND NOW.....
"I can't believe the idiot didn't stock up on beer!" says Gav angrily as he banged his fist against the wall. "How much longer do I have to go without another beer?"
"Come Gav, there's nothing you can do now. Just accept the situation for what it is. Deal with it when you're in a position to do something about it and stop worrying what might be. Move on and forget about it till that time."
"You're right, thanks Joseph."
"No probs Gav, happy to help"
"Say, I noticed earlier you cringed when Noah said 'there was no room at the Inn', that have anything to do with your problems?"
"You could say that, in a way." Joseph replied. "You see, it all started when my wife got pregnant."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"Not when you haven't slept with her yet it isn't. Y'see, I had my suspicions she was having an affair with someone in town, but she flat out denied it claiming she was a virgin."
"Well that's one of the lamest excuses I've ever heard."
"I stuck by her, but as the months grew, the lies and betrayal grew too much to bear and I had to find out who was the father so I took Mary with me and searched Bethlehem all over.
"I'm impressed you managed to suppress your anger that long."
"It was hard. Anyway, the night grew long and we needed to find somewhere to stay but everywhere was booked up. Time after time we were told there was no room at the Inn, until one kind gentleman let us shelter in his barn. That's why I cringed; it always reminds me of her betrayal."
TO BE CONTINUED
Sunday, 1 November 2009
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 14 – Look Who’s Talking
PREVIOUSLY
"....I have a plan that is most cunning in nature"
AND NOW.....
On their way to Noah's ship, the skies darken with thick grey clouds and the rain starts pouring. By the time they get to the ship the rain is very heavy and they can just make out the words NOAH and SARK on the side.
"This must be it" says Joseph "So, how are we going to get on?"
"Just leave all the talking to me" says Gav as he approaches Noah who is standing guard.
"Good evening my fellow man..." starts Gav.
Noah interrupts "I'm sorry but we already have two of every species accompanying us. There's no room at the inn if you like."
Joseph cringes.
"You appear to be pretty strict about this.
"A man's word is his bond"
"May I ask, of the human species, how many are aboard?"
"Why, just the two of us. My wife Sark and myself."
"Forgive me, but did you not say that two of every species would accompany you and your wife?"
"..... yes." Noah says hesitantly.
"Then surely as you said two of every species would accompany you, that logically implies, even taking into account that you yourselves are human, that two humans would accompany you."
"I... ummm....." Noah stammers with a confused expression "I.... guess you're... right"
"Strictly speaking is all I'm saying" Gav hammers home.
"Well..." says Noah as he steps aside "welcome aboard then." and gestures them both towards the ship.
TO BE CONTINUED
"....I have a plan that is most cunning in nature"
AND NOW.....
On their way to Noah's ship, the skies darken with thick grey clouds and the rain starts pouring. By the time they get to the ship the rain is very heavy and they can just make out the words NOAH and SARK on the side.
"This must be it" says Joseph "So, how are we going to get on?"
"Just leave all the talking to me" says Gav as he approaches Noah who is standing guard.
"Good evening my fellow man..." starts Gav.
Noah interrupts "I'm sorry but we already have two of every species accompanying us. There's no room at the inn if you like."
Joseph cringes.
"You appear to be pretty strict about this.
"A man's word is his bond"
"May I ask, of the human species, how many are aboard?"
"Why, just the two of us. My wife Sark and myself."
"Forgive me, but did you not say that two of every species would accompany you and your wife?"
"..... yes." Noah says hesitantly.
"Then surely as you said two of every species would accompany you, that logically implies, even taking into account that you yourselves are human, that two humans would accompany you."
"I... ummm....." Noah stammers with a confused expression "I.... guess you're... right"
"Strictly speaking is all I'm saying" Gav hammers home.
"Well..." says Noah as he steps aside "welcome aboard then." and gestures them both towards the ship.
TO BE CONTINUED
Monday, 5 October 2009
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 13 - Going Forth
PREVIOUSLY
"All public houses in Jerusalem have completely sold out."
AND NOW.....
Gav says "The situation within which we currently find ourselves occupying is not at all favourable Joseph"
Joseph adds "It is indeed dire. So as a means towards arriving at a resolution, what is currently known about the aforementioned situation?"
"Supplies of beer have been exhausted as a result of the impending climatic situation. I have no beer. I require beer." explained Gav.
"Let it also not be forgotten that all life is expected to expire during this event save for those animals that Noah will be taking with him."
"With, Joseph, the obvious exception of both creatures of the sea and air."
"By extension then, our only course of action would be to secure a place on Noah's vessel."
"It would also be reasonable to assume that being the last of the human race and put in this situation, Noah would have stocked up on beer for the duration."
"As was noted in the report however, salvation is only to be granted to the animal kingdom"
Gav sits back in his chair with a smile and finishes "Fear not Joseph, for I have a plan that is most cunning in nature"
TO BE CONTINUED
"All public houses in Jerusalem have completely sold out."
AND NOW.....
Gav says "The situation within which we currently find ourselves occupying is not at all favourable Joseph"
Joseph adds "It is indeed dire. So as a means towards arriving at a resolution, what is currently known about the aforementioned situation?"
"Supplies of beer have been exhausted as a result of the impending climatic situation. I have no beer. I require beer." explained Gav.
"Let it also not be forgotten that all life is expected to expire during this event save for those animals that Noah will be taking with him."
"With, Joseph, the obvious exception of both creatures of the sea and air."
"By extension then, our only course of action would be to secure a place on Noah's vessel."
"It would also be reasonable to assume that being the last of the human race and put in this situation, Noah would have stocked up on beer for the duration."
"As was noted in the report however, salvation is only to be granted to the animal kingdom"
Gav sits back in his chair with a smile and finishes "Fear not Joseph, for I have a plan that is most cunning in nature"
TO BE CONTINUED
Sunday, 6 September 2009
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 12 - Waterworld
PREVIOUSLY
".....they set off towards the pub."
AND NOW.....
"I must let you know Gav, that I wasn't actually farming for Barley back there." Joseph explained. "The whole crop was diseased and I was cutting it down for compost. I'm afraid this season's been rather poor for crops"
"But, what about the beer?"
"Oh, there should still be plenty of beer left to get through the next few months at least.... wait..."
Joseph turns the radio up.
["...there is expected to be an unprecedented rainstorm that will literally flood everything. All species will be wiped out. There is good news however as local nutcase NOAH, who has been building his "spaceship" for the past three years, has now finished it but apparently something went wrong with the design and now, even though it sounds crazy, it miraculously floats on water. He has now decided to save the planet by saving two of every species. He will be taking his wife SARK with him leaving, quote "the rest of the human scum" unquote to die. Only two of every species will accompany him, no more, no less..."]
"Hey, that sounds pretty serious" remarked Joseph.
"Huh, what was that? I wasn't listening"
"They were saying that..."
Gav interrupts "Hold on, this sounds serious"
["..... shortage of beer following the news about the flooding as many have rushed to the pubs for one final session. All public houses in Jerusalem have completely sold out.]
TO BE CONTINUED
".....they set off towards the pub."
AND NOW.....
"I must let you know Gav, that I wasn't actually farming for Barley back there." Joseph explained. "The whole crop was diseased and I was cutting it down for compost. I'm afraid this season's been rather poor for crops"
"But, what about the beer?"
"Oh, there should still be plenty of beer left to get through the next few months at least.... wait..."
Joseph turns the radio up.
["...there is expected to be an unprecedented rainstorm that will literally flood everything. All species will be wiped out. There is good news however as local nutcase NOAH, who has been building his "spaceship" for the past three years, has now finished it but apparently something went wrong with the design and now, even though it sounds crazy, it miraculously floats on water. He has now decided to save the planet by saving two of every species. He will be taking his wife SARK with him leaving, quote "the rest of the human scum" unquote to die. Only two of every species will accompany him, no more, no less..."]
"Hey, that sounds pretty serious" remarked Joseph.
"Huh, what was that? I wasn't listening"
"They were saying that..."
Gav interrupts "Hold on, this sounds serious"
["..... shortage of beer following the news about the flooding as many have rushed to the pubs for one final session. All public houses in Jerusalem have completely sold out.]
TO BE CONTINUED
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