Chapter 5 - Breakable
Cast
Narration: Angel Robinson
Jesus: Gavin Drury
Masseuse: Gavin Drury
Cast
Narration: Angel Robinson
Jesus: Gavin Drury
Masseuse: Gavin Drury
Showing posts with label Scripts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scripts. Show all posts
Thursday, 2 August 2012
Sunday, 29 July 2012
The Jesus Chronicles Audiobook - Chapter 4: Cracking Good Times
Chapter 4 - Cracking Good Times
Cast
Narration: Angel Robinson
Jesus: Gavin Drury
Waitress: Terry Drosdak
Cast
Narration: Angel Robinson
Jesus: Gavin Drury
Waitress: Terry Drosdak
Sunday, 22 July 2012
Tuesday, 17 July 2012
Thursday, 12 July 2012
Thursday, 14 July 2011
Happy Birthday Jim
BODYGUARD: Hey Jim. Bubbles tell me it's your Birthday man. He asked if The Queen and I could pass on a royal congratulations to yourself. She normally doesn't do requests like this for anyone, but Bubbles is an old...
THE QUEEN: Sod him. That Jim is dreamy. He makes one's crotch wet.
BODYGUARD: ...yes. Well... anyway, He asked if we could also sort out something special for you.
THE QUEEN: One does remember Bubbles remarking he once kept something special down in the dungeons.
BODYGUARD: That's brilliant ma'am. I was just going to offre him a knighthood or something, but lets see if Bubbles still has anything down there. Maybe some 40 year Oak aged Scotch Ale or something.
THE QUEEN: Excuse me Jim whilst we go take a look.
---shortly in the dungeon---
Sunday, 8 May 2011
SCRIPTS: The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 22 - EMPYREAN SOLAR FLARE SUMMER ALE
(NOTE: This chAapter takes place concurrently with the events in
PREVIOUSLY
"This is the man who is going to save us."
NOW
EPISODE TITLE: EMPYREAN SOLAR FLARE SUMMER ALE
Five minutes ago in a country on the other side of the planet.
"¿Qué es eso en el cielo?" Asked Robert.
"Creo que leà algo sobre esto en el periódico esta mañana. Es un sol estupendo." Replied Steve.
"¿Qué es un sol estupendo?" Enquired Albert.
"Bueno, como el sol normales, es brillante. Pero debido a que es cada vez más grande, que está llamando es estupendo." Answered Steve.
Robert holds his hands to his eyes and looks up to the supersun.
"Al parecer, los astrónomos predicen la llegada de este sol estupendo hará que los tsunamis o algo asÃ. Montón de tonterÃas supersticiosas si usted me pregunta."
Continued Steve.
Looking slightly panicked, Robert says "¿sabes qué? No creo que se está haciendo más grande."
"Por supuesto que es, mira." Laughs Albert.
"Veo que aparece asÃ, pero eso es porque sea lo que sea, es cada vez más cerca, y se ve grande, y si .... al que golpea la tierra, asà ...." says
Steve.
"...y qué?" Asks Albert.
"...asÃ, cuando digo de ejecución. Ejecutar." Replies Steve.
"EJECTUAR!" adds Steve.
And they all run.TO BE CONTINUED
"¿Qué es eso en el cielo?" Asked Robert.
"Creo que leà algo sobre esto en el periódico esta mañana. Es un sol estupendo." Replied Steve.
"¿Qué es un sol estupendo?" Enquired Albert.
"Bueno, como el sol normales, es brillante. Pero debido a que es cada vez más grande, que está llamando es estupendo." Answered Steve.
Robert holds his hands to his eyes and looks up to the supersun.
"Al parecer, los astrónomos predicen la llegada de este sol estupendo hará que los tsunamis o algo asÃ. Montón de tonterÃas supersticiosas si usted me pregunta."
Continued Steve.
Looking slightly panicked, Robert says "¿sabes qué? No creo que se está haciendo más grande."
"Por supuesto que es, mira." Laughs Albert.
"Veo que aparece asÃ, pero eso es porque sea lo que sea, es cada vez más cerca, y se ve grande, y si .... al que golpea la tierra, asà ...." says
Steve.
"...y qué?" Asks Albert.
"...asÃ, cuando digo de ejecución. Ejecutar." Replies Steve.
"EJECTUAR!" adds Steve.
And they all run.TO BE CONTINUED
SCRIPTS: The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 22 - EMPYREAN SOLAR FLARE SUMMER ALE (translated)
(NOTE: This chapter takes place concurrently with the events in
Five minutes ago in a country on the other side of the planet.
"What's that in the sky?" Asked Robert.
"I think I read something about this in the paper this morning. It's a supersun." Replied Steve.
"What's a supersun?" Enquired Albert.
"Well, like the normal sun, it's glowing. But because it's getting bigger, they're calling it super." Answered Steve.
Robert holds his hands to his eyes and looks up to the supersun.
"Apparently, astronomers are predicting the arrival of this supersun will cause tsunamis or something. Load of superstitious nonsense if you ask me." Continued Steve.
Looking slightly panicked, Robert says "you know what? I don't think it is getting bigger."
"Of course it is, look." Laughs Albert.
"I see it appears that way, but that's because whatever it is, it's getting
closer, and it looks big, and if.... when that hits the earth, well...." says Steve.
"...well what?" Asks Albert.
"...well, when I say run. Run." Replies Steve.
"RUN!" adds Steve.
And they all run.
"What's that in the sky?" Asked Robert.
"I think I read something about this in the paper this morning. It's a supersun." Replied Steve.
"What's a supersun?" Enquired Albert.
"Well, like the normal sun, it's glowing. But because it's getting bigger, they're calling it super." Answered Steve.
Robert holds his hands to his eyes and looks up to the supersun.
"Apparently, astronomers are predicting the arrival of this supersun will cause tsunamis or something. Load of superstitious nonsense if you ask me." Continued Steve.
Looking slightly panicked, Robert says "you know what? I don't think it is getting bigger."
"Of course it is, look." Laughs Albert.
"I see it appears that way, but that's because whatever it is, it's getting
closer, and it looks big, and if.... when that hits the earth, well...." says Steve.
"...well what?" Asks Albert.
"...well, when I say run. Run." Replies Steve.
"RUN!" adds Steve.
And they all run.
TO BE CONTINUED
Friday, 22 April 2011
Thursday, 7 April 2011
SCRIPTS: The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 21 - Guinness
(NOTE: This chapter takes place concurrently with the events in
The Jesus Chronicles - Chapter 21 - Big Expectations)
PREVIOUSLY
"Sounds as good a place to start anyway. Let's go then."
AND NOW
They all arrive at the sinking island to find hundreds of people gathered on the shoreline and looking at the slowly disappearing land mass full of shadows. The gathered have separated into two groups and are arguing with each other about whether they should save the shadows or not. GAVSEN nudges AAlgav, "you think that's that Moses dude?" as he points towards a man knelt in the water in a futile attempt to separate the water with his hands.
"...and this man is supposed to help us?" asks Downtown in a sarcastic tone.
All four of them look on in dumbfounded disbelief as someone approaches Moses and starts talking to him. He is interrupted by a loud rumbling sound and the sea suddenly starts frothing with activity before opening up and creating a channel of dry land between Moses and the island. The man who was talking to Jesus instructs the shadows to make their way back whilst Moses has his arms thrown in the air in victory. Gav then proclaims "This is the man who is going to save us."
TO BE CONTINUED
The Jesus Chronicles - Chapter 21 - Big Expectations)
PREVIOUSLY
"Sounds as good a place to start anyway. Let's go then."
AND NOW
They all arrive at the sinking island to find hundreds of people gathered on the shoreline and looking at the slowly disappearing land mass full of shadows. The gathered have separated into two groups and are arguing with each other about whether they should save the shadows or not. GAVSEN nudges AAlgav, "you think that's that Moses dude?" as he points towards a man knelt in the water in a futile attempt to separate the water with his hands.
"...and this man is supposed to help us?" asks Downtown in a sarcastic tone.
All four of them look on in dumbfounded disbelief as someone approaches Moses and starts talking to him. He is interrupted by a loud rumbling sound and the sea suddenly starts frothing with activity before opening up and creating a channel of dry land between Moses and the island. The man who was talking to Jesus instructs the shadows to make their way back whilst Moses has his arms thrown in the air in victory. Gav then proclaims "This is the man who is going to save us."
TO BE CONTINUED
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 20 - Too Many References
PREVIOUSLY
"what we really need, is someone who... can perform miracles"
AND NOW
Downtown replied "...or we could just ring the Justice League. I'd phone Santa but I think he's busy."
"You know Santa?" GAVSEN asks with shock.
Downtown slaps him around the head.
"No you fool. I was using Franklin Gothic." Downtown pauses briefly before explaining "...the Sarcasm font. There's no such things as miracles. It's a stupid idea."
"Well, maybe not such a bad idea" Gav teases.
"Not you too?" questions AAlgav.
"Wait. While I agree there's no such things as miracles, there are people out there with brilliant minds and abilities that seem miracle-like to many people but can be explained when you really look at it. What we need to do is find these people. They're the sort of people that may be able to help."
".... or that." adds GAVSEN
"Wait, were you eating worm egg sandwiches on the ship or something?" queries Downtown.
"Quick, someone get him a holophoner" adds AAlgav.
"........" says Gav with a confused look on his face.
"Anyway,..." continues AAlgav, "I've heard talk of someone called Moses who may fit into that description. Everyone talks about him but I've no idea who he is, only that he's trying to reunite the shadows or something over on that island that's flooding."
"Sounds as good a place to start anyway. Let's go then." concludes Gav.
TO BE CONTINUED
"what we really need, is someone who... can perform miracles"
AND NOW
Downtown replied "...or we could just ring the Justice League. I'd phone Santa but I think he's busy."
"You know Santa?" GAVSEN asks with shock.
Downtown slaps him around the head.
"No you fool. I was using Franklin Gothic." Downtown pauses briefly before explaining "...the Sarcasm font. There's no such things as miracles. It's a stupid idea."
"Well, maybe not such a bad idea" Gav teases.
"Not you too?" questions AAlgav.
"Wait. While I agree there's no such things as miracles, there are people out there with brilliant minds and abilities that seem miracle-like to many people but can be explained when you really look at it. What we need to do is find these people. They're the sort of people that may be able to help."
".... or that." adds GAVSEN
"Wait, were you eating worm egg sandwiches on the ship or something?" queries Downtown.
"Quick, someone get him a holophoner" adds AAlgav.
"........" says Gav with a confused look on his face.
"Anyway,..." continues AAlgav, "I've heard talk of someone called Moses who may fit into that description. Everyone talks about him but I've no idea who he is, only that he's trying to reunite the shadows or something over on that island that's flooding."
"Sounds as good a place to start anyway. Let's go then." concludes Gav.
TO BE CONTINUED
Thursday, 24 February 2011
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 19 - The Miracle Worker
PREVIOUSLY
"Downtown screams and charges at Gav..."
AND NOW
Downtown snatches the bottle from Gav's hand and throws it to the other side of the room shouting "What do you think you're doing.. are you even thinking?"
"What? I wanted beer." questioned Gav.
"Good thing I saved you then, did you not notice that that was a bottle of Budweiser!"
"IT WAS?! Fuck man, that was close. Good job someone here has their wits about them."
AAlgav speaks up. "Well clearly, we neeed to get this man some beer. And quick."
"Then I propose we use this meeting to discuss what our options are to achieve this." adds GAVSEN
Downtown replies "Well we know that all public houses will have sold out, so we need to think of an alternative"
"Or find someone who may know of an alternative" replied Gav.
"How about that Billy The Wise?" offered Downtown.
"Whizz. It's pronounced whizz" corrected Gav.
Everyone notices GAVSEN deep in thought.
"GAVSEN?" asks AAlgav.
"I was just thinking, what we really need, is someone who can make alcohol from water. Someone who can perform miracles"
TO BE CONTINUED
"Downtown screams and charges at Gav..."
AND NOW
Downtown snatches the bottle from Gav's hand and throws it to the other side of the room shouting "What do you think you're doing.. are you even thinking?"
"What? I wanted beer." questioned Gav.
"Good thing I saved you then, did you not notice that that was a bottle of Budweiser!"
"IT WAS?! Fuck man, that was close. Good job someone here has their wits about them."
AAlgav speaks up. "Well clearly, we neeed to get this man some beer. And quick."
"Then I propose we use this meeting to discuss what our options are to achieve this." adds GAVSEN
Downtown replies "Well we know that all public houses will have sold out, so we need to think of an alternative"
"Or find someone who may know of an alternative" replied Gav.
"How about that Billy The Wise?" offered Downtown.
"Whizz. It's pronounced whizz" corrected Gav.
Everyone notices GAVSEN deep in thought.
"GAVSEN?" asks AAlgav.
"I was just thinking, what we really need, is someone who can make alcohol from water. Someone who can perform miracles"
TO BE CONTINUED
Friday, 9 April 2010
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 18 - 'nuff Said
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 18 - 'nuff Said
PREVIOUSLY
"Just then the rain stops to cheers from everyone."
AND NOW...
Gav, Downtown, AAlgar, and JABSEN are back on land where AAlgar is still disgusted with himself for his 'King Of The World' comment and Gav is steadily becoming sober much to his discomfort. AAlgar and JABSEN express interest in joining Gav and Downtown and are given the Gavified names of AAlgav and GAVSEN. It is at this moment that a 'Lemming' from the boat approaches the group. Greatly disturbed by his presence, Downtown rushes towards 'Lemming' and gives him a Gary Neviile* before returning to the group. Collectively, the Order Of Gavs decide to arrange an official emergency meeting to discuss the current beer situation. GAVSEN knows of a place where the meeting can be held and they set off towards a seemingly abandoned building. GAVSEN explains that the founder Dave uses this for gatherings of the Religion Of Indecisiveness but he can't decide how to decorate the place. As they sit discussing things, the door suddenly swings open and a dwarf appears and throws a bottle towards them before apologising about getting the wrong room and running off. Gav catches the empty bottle and immediately holds it upside down above his open mouth hoping to rescue any remaining drops. Upon seeing this, Downtown screams and charges at Gav...
TO BE CONTINUED
*Gary Neviile - the act of hitting someone whilst saying your own name.
PREVIOUSLY
"Just then the rain stops to cheers from everyone."
AND NOW...
Gav, Downtown, AAlgar, and JABSEN are back on land where AAlgar is still disgusted with himself for his 'King Of The World' comment and Gav is steadily becoming sober much to his discomfort. AAlgar and JABSEN express interest in joining Gav and Downtown and are given the Gavified names of AAlgav and GAVSEN. It is at this moment that a 'Lemming' from the boat approaches the group. Greatly disturbed by his presence, Downtown rushes towards 'Lemming' and gives him a Gary Neviile* before returning to the group. Collectively, the Order Of Gavs decide to arrange an official emergency meeting to discuss the current beer situation. GAVSEN knows of a place where the meeting can be held and they set off towards a seemingly abandoned building. GAVSEN explains that the founder Dave uses this for gatherings of the Religion Of Indecisiveness but he can't decide how to decorate the place. As they sit discussing things, the door suddenly swings open and a dwarf appears and throws a bottle towards them before apologising about getting the wrong room and running off. Gav catches the empty bottle and immediately holds it upside down above his open mouth hoping to rescue any remaining drops. Upon seeing this, Downtown screams and charges at Gav...
TO BE CONTINUED
*Gary Neviile - the act of hitting someone whilst saying your own name.
Friday, 5 February 2010
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 17 - The Lion Game
PREVIOUSLY
"Let's go investigate"
AND NOW.....
The two Gavs are walking around the ship in the heavy rain taking in the various sights. Downtown turns to Gav and says "So... I am seeing this right?"
"People dressed up in lame animal costumes?"
"Just checking."
They walk past a group and overhear one of them dressed as a dog say "Tell you what, why don't you, Mark, and Luke join my little group..."
Gav whispers "Like that'll be anywhere near as good as ours" and they carry on to the front of the ship where they overhear a 'lion' with a ginger mane arguing with a 'bear'.
"... I'm telling you, Noah is not an alien."
"He's gotta be."
"Just look at The State of his beard"
"So?"
"Beards don't grow in space."
"But we're not in space."
"And he didn't come from space either...." the 'lion' interrupts himself mid sentence "...hello" he says towards the Gavs.
"Hi, I'm Gav, this is uhhh.. also Gav."
"You can call me Downtown."
"Nice to meet you, I'm AAlgar, and this is JABSEN" he says motioning towards the 'bear'.
"So, everyone's snuck on here in lame animal disguises then? What have you come as?"
"Me? I'm the Lion King Of The World" AAlgar shouts as he stands with arms outstretched over the front of the boat.
"NICK?" someone shouts from the back of the boat.
"The fuck you just do there? All the rain getting to your head?" JABSEN asks.
AAlgar sits back down "I... I don't know. That was just terrible. I'm sorry. Will this rain ever fucking stop?"
Just then the rain stops to cheers from everyone.
TO BE CONTINUED
"Let's go investigate"
AND NOW.....
The two Gavs are walking around the ship in the heavy rain taking in the various sights. Downtown turns to Gav and says "So... I am seeing this right?"
"People dressed up in lame animal costumes?"
"Just checking."
They walk past a group and overhear one of them dressed as a dog say "Tell you what, why don't you, Mark, and Luke join my little group..."
Gav whispers "Like that'll be anywhere near as good as ours" and they carry on to the front of the ship where they overhear a 'lion' with a ginger mane arguing with a 'bear'.
"... I'm telling you, Noah is not an alien."
"He's gotta be."
"Just look at The State of his beard"
"So?"
"Beards don't grow in space."
"But we're not in space."
"And he didn't come from space either...." the 'lion' interrupts himself mid sentence "...hello" he says towards the Gavs.
"Hi, I'm Gav, this is uhhh.. also Gav."
"You can call me Downtown."
"Nice to meet you, I'm AAlgar, and this is JABSEN" he says motioning towards the 'bear'.
"So, everyone's snuck on here in lame animal disguises then? What have you come as?"
"Me? I'm the Lion King Of The World" AAlgar shouts as he stands with arms outstretched over the front of the boat.
"NICK?" someone shouts from the back of the boat.
"The fuck you just do there? All the rain getting to your head?" JABSEN asks.
AAlgar sits back down "I... I don't know. That was just terrible. I'm sorry. Will this rain ever fucking stop?"
Just then the rain stops to cheers from everyone.
TO BE CONTINUED
Thursday, 7 January 2010
The Sober Chronicles - Chapter 16 - Best Friends
PREVIOUSLY
"..That's why I cringed, it always reminds me of her betrayal."
AND NOW.....
"I'm sorry man."
"The thing that really annoys me is how I went along with it for so long, pretending it was a miracle conception. People have even started calling him the Son of God, and for that I cannot forgive myself. I left Mary, left the carpentry business, left everything and went into failed business venture after failed business venture. My life's a mess now. That's it, I'm doing nothing now, it's too much ef---t."
"Too much to even say the whole word?" Gav questions.
"Yup, I'm done with it all"
"Tell you what, you sound like a great guy, fancy joining my Order?"
"Your Order?"
"Order Of Gavs... admittedly there's only me so far but I haven't come across anyone deserving enough to join.... till you.”
"But I'm not a Gav."
"Then we'll have to make you one. From now on you'll be 'Gav Brown'."
"Gav Brown? Hmmm, I like it. Downtown Gav Brown."
"Excelle..." Gav pauses "...hey, have you noticed something strange about this ship?"
"What? No, can't say I have"
"Have a look."
Downtown looks around.
"Oh god, you're right. How could we not have notice?"
"The lack of alcohol must have been distracting my attention."
"Let's go investigate"
TO BE CONTINUED
"..That's why I cringed, it always reminds me of her betrayal."
AND NOW.....
"I'm sorry man."
"The thing that really annoys me is how I went along with it for so long, pretending it was a miracle conception. People have even started calling him the Son of God, and for that I cannot forgive myself. I left Mary, left the carpentry business, left everything and went into failed business venture after failed business venture. My life's a mess now. That's it, I'm doing nothing now, it's too much ef---t."
"Too much to even say the whole word?" Gav questions.
"Yup, I'm done with it all"
"Tell you what, you sound like a great guy, fancy joining my Order?"
"Your Order?"
"Order Of Gavs... admittedly there's only me so far but I haven't come across anyone deserving enough to join.... till you.”
"But I'm not a Gav."
"Then we'll have to make you one. From now on you'll be 'Gav Brown'."
"Gav Brown? Hmmm, I like it. Downtown Gav Brown."
"Excelle..." Gav pauses "...hey, have you noticed something strange about this ship?"
"What? No, can't say I have"
"Have a look."
Downtown looks around.
"Oh god, you're right. How could we not have notice?"
"The lack of alcohol must have been distracting my attention."
"Let's go investigate"
TO BE CONTINUED
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